Stitchfix = New Obsession

Where oh where has this been all my life...seriously.  Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy shopping,  and I love getting things in the mail.  Combine those two things and you have Stitchfix.  Then let's recount my last shopping experience with my son.   He awoke amidst me looking for some new items,  hungry and crying.  So I ended up walking through the store nursing him, and attempting to select some things.  Then after he finished eating he went on to have a very large and very smelly diaper, so a I skipped trying anything on, grabbed what I could and checked out in a hurry.  Needless to say, I dont really have a desire to venture out clothes shopping much anymore.   So when a friend of mine told me about Stitchfix I couldn't wait to try it out.

What it is, is basically a personal shopper/stylist service and all from the convenience of home! Not to mention, the surprise factor makes it that much more fun!  You fill out a style profile, pay a $20 styling fee, and then a stylist hand selects 5 items to send to you.  You wait very impatiently (ha!) for your goods to show up, then you are able to try on the pieces at home.  This I loved, because I was able to pair it with items in my closet to make sure I really liked it.  The include a nifty little style guides for each item.  You have 3 days to decide what you want to keep, and what you want to send back.  The $20 you paid is then applied to the purchase of your items, and as a bonus if you decide to keep all 5 items you save 25% off the total. Definitely go check it out...Stitchfix.com And if you follow my link and sign-up I will get a lovely $25 credit.  Then you will get your own special referral link to give out...win win win!

 

I think my stylist did a great job picking items for me.  Here's what I got in my 1st fix:

1. Aiden Ankle Length Skinny Jean in white: I had requested white denim in my fix, and was super bummed they were a tad bigger then how I wanted them to fit. So had to send them back.

2. June Polka Dot Skirt: A super cute navy polka-dot pencil skirt. I honestly really liked it, and almost kept it buut I had to rationalize the fact I probably would never really wear it.  I am a stay at home mom, no job, etc. So I sent it back, but dang was it cute!

3. Yanna Floral Print Flutter Sleeve Blouse:  Loved the print, loved the colors, loved the sleeves. But when I turned to the side I was not a huge fan of how it sat on me, and I kind of looked preggo. So I sent it back. 

4. Indianan Abstract Chevron Print Mixed Material Tee: Absolutely loved, and probably my favorite item. It's casual, but unique, super comfy, and definitely colors I like. Kept.

5. Moni Geo Print & Camisole Blouse:  This I was real excited about. I had seen it on Pinterest in other people's fixes and loved the embellishments and detail. I had not seen it in this color though,  but I was pleasantly surprised. I don't own any orange (aside from Bronco clothes), and it's a nice piece to add to my wardrobe! Kept.

I am definitely happy I was introduced to Stitchfix.  As a new mommy it is hard to find time to do things for myself, so this is a nice treat that also is convenient and my son even got a kick out of watching me try my clothes on while he was comfortable playing with a toy. I so recommend this for other mommies or any ladies who just don't have time to shop, or want to add some new pieces to their wardrobe that maybe you wouldn't pick on your own.  I look forward to getting another fix in the future :)

4 Months Old!

Where oh where does the time go? I have had every intention of blogging at least once a month,  but that just clearly has not happened.   Fact is a I just don't have the time to sit down at my computer and write like I used to.  I miss being able to do that but it's just not a priority or realistic most days.  So I am kind of bummed I have failed at the monthly updates this far, but hope  I am able to get better.  It dawned on me that as much as I prefer to blog from my lap top it is much more likely to get done if I do it from my phone. I can simply post as I'm nursing or with a sleeping baby on me...so that is what I shall do!

Where oh where to begin with what has happened from 1 month to 4 months....has it seriously been 3 months! Holy moly. Well I have just been living the full time mommy life.  It has had its ups and downs,  many moments of learning, exhaustion,  some times of frustration but above all it has been amazingly rewarding and the single best thing I have ever done in my life.   I love my sweet boy a little more each day, though I don't know how because he is the best.  The first few months were rough, he was a bit of a colicky baby. Lots of gas and reflux issues, he nursed constantly so that is how I spent majority of my days. At first that was a struggle, but I soon learned to embrace it and to just cherish all that down time sitting with him.  And I am so glad I did because it really is gone in the blink of an eye.  Just the other day I was putting away his old clothes he no longer fits, into a storage bin to make room for new stuff.  I had to stop in disbelief as I held up a preemie size outfit that he once was too little for.  Where did my little 5 lb. 9 oz. baby go...I couldn't even imagine him fitting into something that small.  He has grown by leaps and bounds, and now people think he is much older then he is. He is weighing in at 16 lbs. and is 25 inches long.  I am quickly learning motherhood is filled with bitter sweetness and a slew of other contradictions.   Anyways, after those rough first months he seemed to turn a corner and has truly turned into such a sweet, fun loving baby full of big smiles and love.   I ADORE him! I will say he isn't the best sleeper.  He often wakes when I attempt to lay him down, and only occasionally puts himself to sleep (always when riding in the car, he can become grouchy and fight his naps,  and he doesn't sleep for long stretches at night. But that's OK because as tough as that can be at times, I know this too will pass before I know it. For now I just enjoy those moments of my baby sleeping peacefully on my chest.  I look forward to watching him continue to grow and become his own little person every day, and no matter what is going on in my day or my life I know I can look at t hat sweet little face and know that I am truly blessed!

The 1st Month

As of last Monday, my sweet boy was already a month old!  It is amazing how the nights seem to drag on, but in reality time has flown by.  It is amazing to me just how much he has grown and changed in those 4 short weeks...he already looks so big compared to that tiny thing I held in my arms those first days.  I may be biased, but he is absolutely adorable, and I am completely in love with him!

 

 

Motherhood and having a newborn has proven to have its challenges.  Some of which I expected, others not so much.  I also knew I wanted to breastfeed, and I was nervous about it leading up to.  Things like getting him to latch, I worried about. Getting a good latch was the least of my struggles in the first weeks...ha!  Starting the first week, I got a clogged duct which led to mastitis.  On the day my milk came in, my son was very lethargic from jaundice (which after almost a week of him being poked and tested daily, it finally went away) and decided not to nurse for like 6-7 hours!  So breast feeding on that side became very painful..to the point I was in tears.  Luckily, I got in to my doctor and got antibiotics and after a week or so it was all better.  But my dear son wants to nurse constantly.  He will go 2 hours in between feedings at times, but no longer.  And then the cluster feeding...he usually has 1-2 periods in a day where he cluster feeds and wants to be latched on for hours at a time.

 

Sleep has definitely been sparse.  Since he nurses so often, the longest stretch of time I sleep is 2 hours.  And haven't had much luck with him sleeping at night unless I am holding him, so even when I do sleep it's often with the babe in my arms.  All these things I think are really a result of his acid reflux, though.  The poor thing has it pretty bad, and can tell it hurts him and he struggles with it at times.  So he was put on zantac, however I am not convinced it has made it any better.  He spits up all the time after being put on the medicine, which makes him want to eat more, and then he gets frustrated from it hurting or that he is still hungry, but eating just leads to more spit up.  So we are in this vicious cycle right now, and I can not wait until it passes.  I feel so bad for him and hate seeing him in pain or struggling with it, and it is so tiring for him and myself.  There are times when it gets bad and I find myself just crying because I want to make everything ok, or make him feel better and I just can't seem to.  Which makes me feel like I am failing or coming up short as a mother...and I want nothing more then to give him everything and to be the best mom.  I know logically that his acid reflux is out of my control, and that I'm doing everything within my power to control it, but as a mom you can't help but to feel like that at times.  So I am hoping the sweet thing out grows it soon, or it at least improves.  Thankfully, it hasn't effected his growth though.  He measured 7 lbs. 9 ounces (up 2 lbs from birth) at his 1 month checkup, and 21.5 inches long.

 

 

Aside from adjusting to being mommy, the whole post partum period of self adjustment is another story.  It's funny because while I was pregnant you kind of just think that you will be able to "go back to normal" shortly after birth.  Wrong again, ha.  First off, pregnancy hormones are nothing compared to the emotional roller coaster that comes in the first weeks after baby comes.  Especially that first week.  I would cry multiple times a day for the most random reasons, and it was uncontrollable at times.  Luckily, I feel like I am (slowly but surely) leveling out in that arena.  Then there is the obvious new body issues.  We as women always struggle with this.  But having your body in a constant state of change for the past 9 months, and then learning to accept this new body that emerges once the baby bump is gone.  Your abdomen has stretched and changed and what's left is this odd "looseness"..I of course am chomping at the bits to work out but I currently can't get in enough free time to even consider it.  Or simple things, like I thought I would be able to get back into my wardrobe, but turns out only a portion of my closet is nursing friendly.  Oh the little things you never think of!  I try my best to look put together and to feel pretty, but most days I don't and the times when I do try I feel it goes unnoticed anyways.  Not like my little guy can say "He mom, good job doing your hair and makeup today" ha!  I know this too is just a phase that will pass, but it doesn't make it less of an adjustment learning your way through all these transitions.  Through it all, being a 1st time mommy is so much more then I could have ever imagined or prepared for...but when I look down at my sweet babe it is oh so worth it.  And  it is so true just how fast time goes by...so as exhausting and stressful these days can be I cherish them so much.  I cherish the constant nursing, the sweet snuggles where he only wants to sleep on me, or the quiet moments in the middle of the night where he just looks up and examines me.  Because these days won't last long and I remind myself to take it all in...every single tiring roller coaster moment.  I know I will look back and miss it one day!

 

Birth Story!

Well he is here!  Our son decided to make his entrance when I hit the 38 week point of my pregnancy.  It started out like any other day...I hadn't had any of the "warning signs" that labor may be approaching.  At my last doctor appointment, my cervix was still closed.  It was Sunday March 16th, and my dad came down to visit us and get to see our new place for the first time.  We headed to dinner at Biaggi's, a yummy Italian restaurant not too far from our place.  Towards the end of the meal I noticed I had gotten quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions in a row.  I thought it was odd and made a mental note to Google if that could mean labor might start in the next few days.  I finished my meal and went to the bathroom.  Right as I sat back down at the table Just before 6pm) I felt a surge of moisture and thought to myself  "OMG did I just pee myself a little?" a short moment later another gush came, and I went completely wide eyed and stared at my husband for a moment in disbelief before exclaiming "I'm pretty sure my water just broke...we've got to go!"  So my husband, my father, and myself rushed out the restaurant, with my pants becoming incrwasingly wet with every step, and everyone staring at us, and headed back to the house to get our hospital bags then we were off to the hospital.  We got there just before 7pm and soon after got settled into my labor and delivery room.  My husband, my mom, my dad, and my good friend Megan were all there by my side.  When I first arrived, I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced.  I continued to efface, baby was sitting low in position, contractions were picking up, but I remained at 2cm for quite some time.  Around 11pm the pain was more then I could bare, and I received an epidural along with a spinal push for some immediate relief.  After some intense contractions, and a moment of nausea, labor became much easier after getting meds.  Around 1am (I believe) they checked and I was still only 2cm dilated...then at about 2am I was at 9 1/2cm and we began pushing.  Did a few "practice pushes, and baby's head was visible.  The doctor came in, a few big pushes and our sweet boy arrived at 2:37am on Monday Feb.17th!  The cord was "short and tight" and around his neck when he came out, but thankfully didn't effect him and was all ok.  I was so fortunate to have such a quick and smooth delivery, and a healthy baby!

The flood of emotions that overcome you when that sweet baby is placed in your arms for the first time, is just....indescribable. In an instant you become a mom, your whole world changes, and this tiny little face is peering up at you and you know you are not only responsible for this life, but you would do anything to protect and care for this person and want nothing more then to give them anything and everything in this world.  We are blessed beyond words for this bundle of joy.  Welcome to this world my sweet boy.  I wish for nothing but the best for you and hope that you know just how capable you are, and you move mountains!

The last pregnancy photo I took, the day before my water broke.

 

With dad.

 

With mommy.

 

My little family.

 

 

 

36 Weeks

Well we are officially in the home stretch!  It's that point in pregnancy where you are tired of being pregnant, and all the aches and pains that come with it.  I wish I had a personal masseuse to rub my back and feet at the end of each day lol.  You just want your body back to "normal"...but at the same time you are somewhat terrified of giving birth and having the baby.  I more times then not find myself suddenly questioning my ability to be a good mother, and all the small details that come with it.  Which I know is silly...though it is different, I have spent the last 5 years of my life taking care of and helping raise other people's children.  So why do I feel so inadequate?  I am positive that the anticipation is worse then reality.  I understand it will be an adjustment and a constant learning curve, but I think....at least hope that once he comes it is less scary then I make it out to be in my head at times.

 

Recently, I came across a reading where different women gave their perspective and advice on pregnancy to other women and their spouses.  I thought, I might as well type out my two cents, because maybe it will help someone, or I can look back on it one day when I am pregnant again and remind myself of some things.  It is amazing looking back as to just how fast pregnancy does go by.  It is definitely an experience filled with ups and downs, constant changes, and a field of emotions.  The one thing I didn't expect to experience is loneliness.  I don't know how many experience this, but I have spoken to some friends who could relate.  Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the impending life change ahead, I have no idea really.  But there have been times in the last few months that I have felt lonely.  Moments where I cry without knowing fully where it is coming from.  I find myself with a million things running through my head at all times, nights where insomnia comes and won't go away, throw in the good ole forgetfulness and it's a recipe for feeling like you are going crazy.  Now don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade being pregnant for anything in the world.  And it has been such a blessing, for as long as I can remember the one thing I wanted in life was to be a mom.  And words can't describe how much I am looking forward to tackling this new chapter in my life.  But the roller coaster ride you go through emotionally on your road to motherhood, is interesting and nothing you can ever expect or plan for before it happens.  I think one of the hardest aspects is maintaining some sense of yourself, through it all. 

 

The best thing that can happen to you is to have an amazing support system.  From girlfriends you can talk to, relate with, exchange stories and experiences with...get advice from those who have children.  Surround yourself with positivity.  And having a supportive spouse who is excited to go on the wacky journey with you, helps a lot too.  My big advice to men is to first and foremost understand, we are in essence a bit loony for these 9 months.  Bare with us, lol.  As old as it might get, tell her she is beautiful, that she looks gorgeous every day.  She needs to hear it and be reminded of it constantly.  Dig deep and pull compliments from the heart, she will eat it up, and you will benefit from it. And I think it is equally important for the woman to take care of herself and do things that make her feel good.  Whether it's getting your nails done, getting a haircut, or buying a few things that make you feel pretty.  I will admit I struggle with this sometimes.  When I became pregnant I swear I suddenly became a crazy penny pincher.  I began price comparing like a mad woman and second triple guessing almost every purchase I make (do I really need that?)  But trust me, you have to treat yourself from time to time.  And take the time to get ready.  I have seen a lot of places where they say pregnancy is your time to "get away with wearing yoga pants everyday", or things of that sort.  While this is true, and comfort is important, I think neglecting to make an effort just because you're pregnant is a mistake.  If you never take the time to do your hair, or makeup, or dress cute you are going to start feeling like a bum.  I for one didn't want to feel like that...I wanted to be pregnant and feel as glamorous as I could.

 

 Don't ever stop showing affection and intimacy.  For a woman struggling with her self confidence during pregnancy, these things will mean so much to her.  Hug her, kiss her, touch her and show her you still are attracted to her and adore her.  And definitely embrace the belly...it sounds silly but you can't imagine how it touches a woman's heart when you touch or kiss that belly and begin bonding with your child in that way.  Some of my favorite moments during my pregnancy were simply when my husband laid with his hand on my belly...it's the first image I have of me and my little family, which a woman will cherish forever.  And the biggest advice I have is for both of you to remember that this is only temporary.  It will fly by, so cherish every fabulous and not so fabulous moment of it.  You will never get this time back, and you don't want to wake up one day and feel like you missed a moment of it.  Because I truly believe that one of the most beautiful things in this world is the creation of life!

33 Weeks...and counting

First off...slacker slacker....I know.  Funny I thought with being pregnant I would improve in the frequency I blog...wrong!  The thing is, unless I put it on my calendar, put it on a list, set an alarm for it...it probably won't get done.  That is the new norm for me, which for Ms. Type A personality drives me crazy.  You should see my cell phone...my calendar is filled with little dots and my note pad has lists among lists.  Add in the chalkboard weekly calendar in our kitchen, and then all the paper lists I write out.  Seems like the whole memory portion of my brain just...evaporated. Ha!

So how to recap the last month or so.  We have continued getting settled into the house, and we hosted Christmas dinner for the first time.  It was lots of cooking, plenty of time in the kitchen, and by the end of the day I was ready to lie on the couch and not move.  But everything turned out great, the food was delish (not to toot my own horn..but toot toot!) and thankfully my mom helped by making a few sides and dessert.  We opened gifts Christmas morning along with my brother-in-law and his gf, then played a boys vs. girls game of Cranium before we sat down for Christmas dinner.  Pregnant Angela even rolled around on the floor to act out mud wrestling...I am sure that was quite a sight!

In the weeks since Christmas, I began going through the pile of baby shower gifts that had been piled in the corner of his room.  I slowly but surely went through it, organizing items and putting them away in their decided designated locations.  I am so happy with how it is all coming together.  His crib is up, sheets are on, the dresser/changing pad area is set up, hubby did a great job putting together the bookcases I picked, hanging his curtains, and his monitor is set up.  Right now we are waiting on the glider to arrive and then I will hang his mobile, which I am super excited to put together.  Once we get that done I will definitely post pics!  I got my beloved Mamaroo set up, the bassinet is put together, car seat is ready to go with his BundleMe in it, his hospital bag is pretty much packed (still need a coming home outfit!), and I have a list of what I want to take in my bag.  I have been working like a mad woman organizing, cleaning, and trying to make sure everything is in line.  Thankfully I have not had any more contractions since our 28 week scare, but I can't help but worry about not being ready if he does come early.  So better to air on the cautious side, then put it off!

I have been feeling every bit of pregnant lately.  My neck hurts, my back hurts, headaches, constant potty trips, feeling the fact that there is less and less room in my uterus for him, and the increasingly difficult task of...moving. Ha...getting off the couch is a struggle, sitting up is a struggling, getting comfortable at night is hard, and heck I can barely put on my own socks!  And just the other day I got the official first "Wow, you look like you are about ready to pop" Ahh yes...definitely feeling it.

Last week we went and got a 3D/4D ultrasound....I am just too impatient and really wanted a sneak peak.  Though my dear son refused to wake up and slept the entire ultrasound, I was still excited to see that precious little face!

He sleeps with his arm up like momma.

 

So sweet.

28 Weeks

Oh how time flies when you are busy!  I don't know where to begin since my last post.

28 weeks

The husband returned home from deployment at the end of October.  Much of the next several weeks were filled with getting moved and settled into the new place.  I began commuting to Denver from CO Springs for work.  And baby continued growing.

Following the 20 week ultrasound, my doctor's noticed a spot on my placenta they wanted to recheck at 24 weeks.  This of course made me nervous, but on the bright side it meant my husband would be able to see an ultrasound of our son, which made me happy.  Following the 24 week ultrasound, they said everything looked fine and baby was developing right in line with where he should be.

The next several weeks went by fairly normal.  Aside from being tired, occasional nerve pains, and a super annoying reoccurring pain in one of my ribs...everything was going well.  I of course have had my moments of struggling with the ever continuous body changes.  Some days you wake up with a game face feeling good, and other days the sight of yourself in the mirror is less then glamorous.  It can definitely be tough at times to feel beautiful, and it's like you need constant reminders that you are.  I just try to remind myself it is only temporary and that the end result is obviously so well worth it.

Anyways, this past Thursday afternoon I was at work when all of a sudden I started getting pains in my abdomen.  It felt like pressure in my lower uterus, and pain that radiated up the sides and to the top of my uterus.  Along with a mild low back pain that came and went.  At first I thought I just needed to sit down for a moment, but after awhile when it didn't subside and seemed to get worse I got concerned and called my doctor.  They instructed me to drink water and lie down for an hour then call them back.  When I did, and the pain was still there, my OB instructed me that I was not to drive and not to leave Denver before going to the hospital.  My mother got dropped off at my job and drove me to the ER.  They sent me up to the labor floor and hooked me up to a contraction monitor and a monitor of the baby's heartbeat.  Baby thankfully sounded good and was ok, but I was contracting every 3-4 minutes.  They checked me, and luckily wasn't dialated at all.  I got shots to stop the contractions, and they did a fetal fibronectin test on me.  It came back positive, which essentially means I am not necessarily going to go into preterm labor but I am at risk to.  Since I wasn't dialated and the contractions stopped, I was released from the hospital.  My OB then had me go and get shots which help speed up the development of his lungs in case he is born early, and I have been put on a modified bed rest.  Many of my physical activities have to be limited, and I am restricted from driving outside of CO Springs on my own.

This has proved to be a very tough week for me.  First and foremost the fear of our son coming so early is terrifying, and as much as you realize it's not necessarily in your control, a part of you feels like you've failed because your body isn't doing "what it should".  Then the unexpected end of work has been tough.  Unlike an office job, working with children and families as a preschool teacher brings a different emotional connection with work.  I have been with the school for the past 3 years, so feeling like I just left with out saying good-bye to the kids has been hard.  I know I will have to go to work to get my things that are there, and get to see the kids, but it still wasn't the way I planned it which made it tough.  I am a planner, so unexpected change like that is not my cup of tea.  And of course learning to adapt to all my restrictions will be difficult.  I am always on the go, and have always been someone who does a million things at once.  So to be told I can't vacuum, or I can't drive myself somewhere, or I have to limit how many times I can go up or down stairs at my house will definitely be an adjustment.  I know that all these things are what is best for baby and me, though.  And anything I can do to insure his health and keeping him in as long as possible, is what's important.

Amidst all the craziness this past week, I did manage to have my baby shower this past Saturday.  Which I was so glad I was OKed to do, because I have been looking forward to it so much.  IT turned out beautifully and was beyond touched by the love and support.  My only regret is that I didn't take more photos because the ladies did such an amazing job putting it all together!

One of the games :)

 

Opening gifts

 

With my friend's dating back to high school

 

Adorable finger print tree the guests did

 

The wishing tree where guests wrote well wishes