And the reading continues...

A few days ago I finished reading The Lucky One.  I found myself grabbbing the book and reading it every chance I got, every time I had a few spare minutes.  I would shut the TV off and go to bed early, just to snuggle up with that book.  The entire story line was great, and so beautiful.  I found myself both tearing up and smiling as I read.  Both the bond he had with his fellow soldiers at war, and the relationship that he develops with Elizabeth pulled at my heart strings.  Needless to say I am looking forward to seeing the movie.

Now I am reading Dear John.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I absolutely love the movie, and could watch it over and over again (Dear John and The Notebook rank in the top of my all time favorites!) so I am thrilled to read the book, though I am sure I will be filled with tears the entire time.  Especially since I am choosing to read this book now, August and September feel like a time of loss to me.  A time of heartache.  For the longest time I could not figure this out, but I know why.  Dating back to 2008.  August was the time I had my first date with a soldier, who then turned around to leave me to return to the war in Iraq.  Thus began my understanding of war and the ever present effects it has on all those it touches.  Fast forward to August/September of 2009.  The first time I felt struggles in that relationship that were big enough to push me to separate from him.  A few weeks later, we obviously worked things out and moved on with life.  Then August of 2010, another deployment.  This time he was taken from me to go to the war in Afghanistan.  A few weeks in, the loss of lives.  The first time I personally knew someone killed at war.  Though I know it had happened for years, and my heart always ached when news of soldiers KIA came acrossed the news, the effect it has on you when you personally know the soldier is a whole nother story.  To remember stories with them, or to look back at a photograph and know that person only got a one way ticket, its heart wrenching.  Getting a phone call, and being told someone was killed, and knowing the name that comes out of the phone is something you never forget.  It hardens your heart a little bit.  It changes your perspective on life, though I may not be exactly sure how I know it does. Then the obvious event, Sept 26th, 2010.  Though my life has taken on many events unexpected, and regardless what has happened in my relationship, this date will forever hold a significant spot in my memory and my heart.  No one could ever imagine the gut wrenching feeling to receive a call like that.  To have someone tell you "Your husband stepped on an IED today."  Who ever thinks there will be a day to be told someone so intrigal in your life, was blown up!  I am sorry for putting it so...unpleasantly but its the reality of it. I am forever thankful a life was not lost that day, and every time I think of it my heart breaks because of the pain I felt that day, but also because I think of the even greater pain of every person who has ever had the dreaded men in uniform show up at their door to give them even worse news.  Then, last August/September was when I felt my marriage begin to crumble.  I tried many times to pinpoint when or where all control was lost, but I have learned that is a fool's game.  I have accepted things that have happened in my life, the divorce, and the path I have led.  Though it wasn't the way I imagined things or hoped things would be, I learned to accept it and to take my experiences from the past to hopefully better my future.  My purpose of this is not to dwell in these facts, but rather to shed light on why I have a bitter sweet feeling when this time of year approaches. It's why the crisp breeze of the air in the winding down of summer, and the approach of fall has a such an effect on my skin. Though it is a time of loss to me, with all loss comes some type of renewal. And for that, I am greatful. And I am realizing that a simple blog about reading books that I enjoy has turned into so much more. Maybe this is a result of my lack of blogging :) Just means I need to devote more time to it.

The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks

So I recently finished reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks.  It is a follow-up to The Notebook.  The narrator of the story is married to Noah and Allie's daughter, Jane.  It is about Wilson and Jane's marriage hitting a rough spot after 30 years of marriage and his journey to make her fall back in love with him.  I absolutely loved it and adored every minute of reading it!  I definitely recommend it.  Though there are so many great quotes in this book (like all Nicholas Sparks books), here is one excerpt that I just love.  It is from a letter that Wilson wrote to Jane...

"My darling,

  It's late at night, and as I sit at my desk, the house is silent except for the ticking of the grandfather clock.  You're asleep upstairs, and though I long for the warmth of your body against my own, something compels me to write this letter, even though I'm not exactly sure where to begin....

  ....Some things, after all, have never changed.  In the mornings, for instance, my first thoughts after waking are -- and always have been -- of you.  Often, I'll simply lie on my side and watch you, I see your hair spread across the pillow, one arm above your head, the gentle rise and fall of your chest..... Throughout our marriage, you've been my dream, and I'll never forget how lucky I've felt ever since the first day we walked together in the rain....

  ....Even at work, I frequently find myself glancing at the clock and wondering what you are doing at that exact moment.....I guess what I am trying to say is that you are there, in everything I am, in everything I've ever done, and looking back I know that I should have told you how much you've always meant to me.

  I'm sorry for that, just as I'm sorry for all the ways I've let you down.  I wish I could undo the past, but we both know that's impossible.  Yet I've come to believe that while the past is unchangeable, our perceptions of it are malleable....

  ....I once made a vow to you....and as your husband of thirty years, it's time I finally made another.  From this point on, I will become the man I always should have been.  I'll become a more romantic husband, and make the most of the years we have left together.  And in each precious moment, my hope is that I'll do or say something that lets you know that I could never have cherished another as much as I've always cherished you."

I was so moved by this, as with many other things throughout the book.  The way he expresses his love and admiration for his wife is absolutely beautiful.  I feel like in life so many times we as people get so busy and so caught up with the hustle and bustle that we forget to stop, see the beauty in the small things, and acknowledge those things.  This book was a great read and I can't wait to start my next Nicholas Sparks book!  I would love if this one gets made into a movie as well!



Aurora We Stand

This is a tribute to the victims and community of my hometown Aurora, CO in response to the July 20th tragedy. The artist Jono is the vocalist in the song, and is an old friend. He will be starring in tonight's episode of E!'s new show Opening Act. Enjoy this meaningful song and also tune in to his episode. He is a talented person and I am so happy for him and the great things happening for him, and just wanted to do my part to spread the word of his gift.

Also, please download this song to your music library.  It's available at http://jonosings.bandcamp.com/ or on iTunes.  The proceeds will go to helping the victims and families of this tragedy.

Aurora, CO Shooting

This is the second time within a month that my Colorado has made national news.  First with all the destruction of the wildfires (which I want to take a minute to say I am so happy it has been contained and that the beauty of my lovely CO Springs was saved.  Though the losses sustained will not be forgotten, the city is ready to rebuild), and now this horrific act of evil.  Aurora, CO is my hometown.  It is where I was born and raised.  I woke up Saturday morning and when I looked at my phone I had numerous missed calls, voice mails, and texts asking me if I was ok....if I was alive.  My heart began to pound, and I could feel a lump in my throat as I realized that something awful must have happened back home (I was on vacation in different parts of the state all week).  I quickly googled Aurora, CO and instantly a photo of Century 16 popped up with a headline that read something along the lines of "mass shooting" or "massacre".  My heart broke instantly, and the more I read and the more news I watched my heart continued to break.  The simple fact that this happened, such an evil thing, against sooo many innocent people at a place as innocent as a movie theater, struck to the core of me.  Then to see it all in my own home, my community, the very place I grew up and live, a movie theater that I myself have gone to several times (though I can say it has been years since I last went to that particular theater).  It is beyond me how anyone could do such a thing, how such hateful and heinous things could ever possibly cross someones mind let alone act on it.  My next thought was of course if I knew anyone there.  I later came to find I did not know any of the victims.  I do know someone who was next door in theater 8 at the time of the shooting.  This in its self was enough to terrify me.  Life is so precious, so unpredictable, and you can never be sure that you won't be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  That some monster is looming about ready to unleash against their fellow human beings...innocent lives.  I pray for this community, for all those affected.  This tragedy is one that will forever be felt the hearts of those of us who call or have called Aurora, CO home.  I know we will rise from this and stand together.  We will not allow the evil of one man break the spirits of the masses.  And above all I still stand behind my city, my state, and can say that I am proud to call Colorado home and that we are a state of greatness.

So for now, let those mourn who need to mourn, may the monster who did this pay for his acts, and remember those who were lost.

4th of July 2012

So this year the 4th of July fell on a Wednesday, which made for a slightly odd holiday.  No three day weekend, just a random day off in the middle of the week.  It was nice to break the week up, but totally through me off at the same time.  All day Tuesday I was thinking it was Friday and kept having to stop myself from doing my typical end of week things at work.  I even caught myself saying "Have a good weekend" to some of the families as they picked their kids up from work.

We did however decide to plan our curriclum this week around the holiday, and teach the children all about their country and how the 4th of July is our country's birthday.  We did things such as sing patriotic songs (the kids loved galloping like Yankee Doodle), create American flags, and wear patriotic clothes/colors.  Even though, it is only a week long theme it has been one of my favorites.  I am glad the children have seemed to enjoy it just as much.

For the 4th I headed down to CO Springs to spend the day.  That night I went down to the Pueblo Riverwalk (which is nice in it's own right but of course is NOTHING compared to the San Antonio RiverwalkIe have gone to so many times) to watch fireworks.  With all of the high fire conditions and a state wide ban against all open burning, most cities across the state cancelled their firework shows.  Pueblo was one of the few who didn't.  We decided to head down a little early to get some dinner.  There was only like one restaurant on the riverwalk and the wait to be seated was an hour!  So we began a little walking adventure to try and seek out something to eat...and everything was closed.  So we headed back to the event area and paid the fee to enter the area where all the vendors were.  Of course all of the lines were insanely long, so we found one that seemed manageable.  After waiting in line for about half hour to 45 min ( we entertained ourselves people watching), once we were about 2-3 people to the front they announced they ran out of pretty much everything.  So defeated, we walked back to the truck to settle in for the fireworks show.  Dehydrated, hot, hungry.  So thank goodness they put on a pretty good fireworks display, and we had an awesome view and were away from the massive crowds of people smushed together on the lawn.  So though the entire night wasn't a fail, I think it was decided once was enough for the Pueblo riverwalk!

I hope that everyone enjoyed their 4th of July and random day off in the week, and good luck making it through to the real weekend :)

♥ And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.  And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.  'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA. ♥

President Obama Visits the Waldo Canyon Fire

Appreciative of his visit and the support of the community. I pray that as the days pass, this fire continues to be contained, and that the community is able to come together and rebuild our beautiful home. For the nearly 350 homes lost, and the fatalities, my heart aches. This will forever change us, in some way shape or form.

Colorado Wildfires

So the last few weeks my state has been battling wildfires.  In the past few days, that battle has gotten even greater.  With record high temps, and being very dry, fires have been popping up left and right.  It is so sad to see my beautiful state burning from north to south.  The following I took from a USA Today article in regards to the fires, for those of you who may not be up to date on the situation here in Colorado...


"The total number of homes destroyed by a two-week old wildfire in northern Colorado was raised to 248 on Sunday as residents of a subdivision near Fort Collins learned that 57 more homes in their neighborhood had been lost, authorities said.

Fire officials had previously said that 191 homes had burned, the most in state history. The High Park Fire is the second-largest wildfire and among the most expensive in Colorado's history. It has scorched more than 130 square miles and was just 45 percent contained on Sunday, The Denver Post reported.

With a total of eight fires burning, Colorado is having its worst wildfire season in a decade.

A fire near Colorado Springs erupted Saturday and grew out of control to more than 3 square miles early Sunday, prompting the evacuation of more than 11,000 residents and an unknown number of tourists. Authorities said Sunday that they were allowing about 5,000 of those residents to return.

Also on Saturday, a blaze destroyed structures near the mountain community of Estes Park, where many visitors stay while visiting Rocky Mountain National Park. The Larimer County Sheriff's Office said Sunday that 22 homes and 2 outbuildings had been burned.

"We're used to flooding and tornadoes, nothing like this," said Amanda Rice, who recently moved to the area from Rock Falls, Ill. Rice, her husband, four children and dog left a Manitou Springs hotel late Saturday.

Rice, scared when she saw flames, took her family to the evacuation center before she was told to go.

"It was just this God-awful orange glow. It was surreal. It honestly looked like hell was opening up," Rice said Sunday.

With Colorado midway through its worst wildfire season in a decade, travelers have seen some of their favorite sites closed to the public, obscured by smoke and haze. Some travelers were awoken with evacuation orders.

Plumes of gray and white smoke poured from the mountains Sunday, obscuring at times Pikes Peak, the most-summited high-elevation mountain in the nation and inspiration for the song "America The Beautiful." Winds were pushing smoke away from Colorado Springs, but residents and tourists watched nervously as haze wrapped around the peak.

Also Sunday, a brushfire that began near Elbert, about 50 miles southwest of Denver, quickly spread to about 60 acres, forcing the evacuation of about 100 residents.

Half the nation's firefighting fleet is now battling fires in Colorado, said Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper. He said C-130 military transport planes from Peterson Air Force Base in Colorado Springs would begin assisting on Monday.

"People recognize this is going to take a big push" to extinguish, Hickenlooper said Sunday from a Colorado Springs grocery store, where volunteers were passing out burritos, sandwiches and drinks to 350 firefighters working near Pikes Peak.

The wildfire near Rocky Mountain National Park destroyed vacation cabins and closed the most commonly used entrance to the park. Clouds of smoke blew toward the 102-year-old Stanley Hotel that inspired Stephen King to write "The Shining."

I saw first hand as the Waldo Canyon fire had just began on Saturday.  As I was driving into Colorado Springs (from Denver) I could see the cloud of smoke rising up as I came over Monument Hill.  Then as I got closer (about I25 and Woodmen) I could see the actual flames across the top of the mountain.  It was surreal.  My heart goes out to all the those acrossed the state who have been affected, and to all the firefighters working around the clock to try and put all these fires out.

Day 1 of Waldo fire...

Day 2 of the Waldo fire...

Lastly, for anyone who is interested in helping our state battle these fires, here is a list of  a few ways you can...

-Donate to evacuees through HelpColoradoNow.org

-Donate to the Red Cross

-Donate to Colorado Professional Firefighters Foundation

-Also this is a good Facebook page, Waldo Canyon Fire assistance