Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales

So I came acrossed this video today and just had to share it.  The message in the video is great and has much truth to it.  I hope to find these things in the future whenever the time comes for me to endeavour into marriage again.  And I hope everyone who reads my blog can take it and listen to its message.

Hooray for the new year

So I realize that it has been awhile since I really blogged.  I have been making blog posts, but not my blogs where I talk about how I am feeling about things.  And I think it's about time for one :)  This won't be long, but very much to the point.  2012 has been good so far.  All the sadness that I was feeling leading up to the holidays is gone.  It's like a weight just lifted off my shoulders as soon as the new year came.  I woke up looking forward to the new year, new beginnings, and high hopes for myself. I feel confident in the decisions I have made.  I am a stronger person, and ultimately a happier person.  I know what I want in life, and what I don't want.  And above all I know my own self worth.  I have been spending time with friends, and having so much fun surrounding myself with those I care about most in my life.  I am making short term, and long term goals for myself and feeling really good about it!  I am leaving the past in the past and focusing on the future.  I know that this is going to be a good year....actually a great year!  I hope everyone else's year has gotten off to a good start as well and that you accomplish all that you want and more.  And I promise to keep up with my blog even better then I did last year!

♥ We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. it is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home. ♥

Zumba

So I am sure many of you have tried Zumba, but if you haven't I have got to say
you just have to give it a try! I had been hearing all about it for awhile now
but never tried it until this week. Uhm I love it!!!! It is so much fun
(especially if you love dancing as much as I do!) and it literally works every
muscle in your body. The morning after I do it I can feel it in my abs, arms,
calves, lower back, chest, thighs, EVERYWHERE! It's the best so try it :) This
is my absolute favorite dance to do...

The Things Kids Say #3

A few of the quotes I remember from this past week...

While making something a child said "I'm making this for my friend, Jesus."

When asked what he wanted to be when he grows up a child said "I want to be a teacher, like Ms. Angela"

A child's shirt got wet.  When I took it off him to dry he rubbed his belly and said "Ohhhh! Soft!" Then ran and hugged me.

A child made a fishing pole out of legos.  When I asked what it was she exclaimed, "This is my shifin' pole!"

I am sitting with the kids during lunch when out of the corner of my ear I hear one of them singing "Every day I'm shuffalin, every day I'm shuffalin"

Yup, I have the best kids in my class :)

December Photo Shoot

So my friend Acasha and I have been talking about doing a winter photo shoot for awhile now.  We finally got out and did them this week.  And I absolutely love them!  I loved the last photo shoot, but these even top those.  We did over 700 photos, I deleted the ones I didn't like and we got it down to around 300-400.  Once she did all her amazing edits we were back up too 600.  I have SO many favorites, but I narrowed it down to my MOST favorite to share with you all.  And you can visit her website to see more of her amazing work www.acashakingphotography.com

Photo Shoot 12/28/11

Christmas 2011

Oh Christmas time.  Well I can say this was not what I had thought my Christmas would be like this year.  I thought my life would be in a completely different place.  And the weeks leading up to Christmas proved to be very difficult for me.  Much harder then I would have anticipated.  While everyone else was decorating, shopping, preparing I felt the loneliness start to close in on me.  I felt bitter going out and seeing everyone buying things for their special someone.  I cried a lot more, felt pity for myself a lot more.  The only time I seem to feel ok is at work, distracted by my kids.  Then I would go home at night, alone. It has definitely been the most trying time in the events of the last few months of my life.

And though I am still struck with these feelings of sadness, loneliness, hurt.  I also feel blessed. I know that  am loved, I am appreciated.  I may not be feeling loved and appreciated by the person I thought I would be, but none the less it's there.  Starting with my loevly families I work with.  I am so truly blessed to be apart of them, and their children's lives.  I know that my work as a teacher does not go unnoticed.  Aside from the gifts, the kind words my families wrote to me on cards meant the world to me.  It gave me a feeling of purpose at this time in my life.  I know that I am an important asset in their children's lives right now, and likewise their children mean so so much to me.  They bring light and laughter and so much love to my life every single day. 

And then there are the amazing ladies I am so lucky to call my friends.  These girls stick by me through so much.  They offer advice, support, comfort, or simply an ear when I feel like nothing else helps but rambling on seemingly endless vents.  They bring me up when I am down.  They are there to make me laugh, and remind me to smile.  They remind me of my worth, that I am a good person and desrve the best.  The reassure me I was a darn good wife, I am a strong person, and I will find hapiness through all of this.  And I look at these women and admire them as well, for they truly are strong and beautiful women all their own!  Many of them have been, or currently are in the place I am in.  They know the hurt, they know the struggles, all the ups and downs that come with this territory.  I feel so alone, afraid, unsure of my future at times but then they are there and I see examples of amazing women who came out of it and are OK!  It gives me courage and strength when I feel like everything around me is crumbling.  It helps me to realize that yes, there are days that are going to plain out suck.  Days that feel unbearable, and days I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs "WHY ME!"  or "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!"  These days are normal, it's ok, but they remind me those days also pass.  A dear friend said to me "Think of all the hard times in the last year that you thought you wouldn't get through it, and you did.  This too you will get through."  I try to remind myself of that everyday.  And that is just one example of the amazing words I receive from my friends that help lift me up when I am down.  And I am just so greatful I have people willing to be there for me through this, and I love these girls and would do anything for them!

Last but not least, my family.  Where I come from,  the people who keep me grounded.  The ones who have been there since day one, 22 years of loving me and supporting me unconditionally.  I many times don't open up to them the way I do to my closest friends about the things I am going through.  Maybe because it's an uncomfortable subject, maybe because I don't want them to worry, or I want to spare them from knowing my pain.  I look at them (whether it be parents or aunts/uncles), and I see the love and the utter concern.  It's a silent look that shows me how much they care, and comforts me without a word.  I know they all would do anything for me, and that I have to do is ask.  It is so reassuring.  I can say I am blessed once again with such a great family.  Such great role models and people to look up to, and to learn from.  To receive advice from.  Tonight at dinner I was talking to an uncle of mine and he said to me "I know that what you are going through isn't easy.  But you will come out of this on top.  And you will learn to walk in faith and your spirit will guide you, you have it in you."  Another uncle simply gave me a deep sincere hug and told me it's going to be ok, and it meant so much.  Because really most days all I need is a hug and for someone to tell me it's ok.  That I am ok.  That I am special.  Going through this, you often find yourself quiestion yourself and who you are when in fact that is the last thing you need to do.  And of cource my parents are always there offering support in so many ways, and though it may not always seem like it I appreciate it always.

So it was a good Christmas.  It was hard, but I also was reminded of those around me who truly care and who make my life so special in so many ways.  And as always, I feel it is so important to recognize our military who are unable to spend this holiday and so many others with their loved ones because they are fighting to protect our freedoms and our way of life.  I have been so lucky to personally know so many of this nation's amazing soldiers who selflessly fight.  Who give up time at home, sacrifice limbs, and some who never made it home for another holiday.  Not a single day goes by I don't think of them, the ones I know and the ones I don't.  And on this day and all others I pray for them.

Love those who love you, hold them close, and cherish them.  I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and I wish for nothing but great things for myself and for everyone else in the New Year!

♥ Christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ♥

The Hangover

So I assume most people have seen the movie The Hangover.  Well I have a real life version of this movie that happened this weekend.  My best friend lives about two hours away from me.  We talk every day and try to see each other as often as our hectic lives allow us.  This weekend we discussed getting together but with Christmas shopping and a few other things, it wasn't looking very likely.  Anyways, yesterday morning I woke up around 8.  I was in my bathroom washing my face when I heard a bang on my bedroom door and in walks my best friend to my complete surprise!  She sits down on my bed and just starts shaking her head.  I am super confused and keep saying "what in the world is going on?  What are you doing here?"  Then she says "Hey M, she's dressed you can come in."  I'm like wait, what?  In walks her friend M and just flops on my bed and says "It's sooo bad!"  After both of them spewing out random moments from the night, and me still completely confused I told them to slow down and tell me what happened from the start.  After hearing the story I couldn't help but laugh hysterically, because it is totally a real life version of the movie!  Like, how in the world do these things happen.  It was so ridiculous I couldn't help but share this with you all (I will do my best to retell the story, apologies of some details are a bit off).

So it all began the night before when my friend, her boyfriend, her friend M and his wife went out.  Before going out they had some drinks at their hotel.  However, the drinks were made extremely strong and they were already drunk by the time they got to the club.  While at the club, my friend and her boyfriend got into an arguement and ultimately they all ended up taking separate cabs back to the hotel.  In my friend's process of getting to a cab, three men approached her tring to be inappropriate.  She somehow managed to get away and get a cab back to the hotel.  Once she got back, a few arguements ensued and the bathroom ended up being a bit destroyed in the process.

Prior to the bathroom destruction (I think) M and his wife had gotten in an arguement in the parking lot of the hotel.  The cops came, and decided to handcuff M.  In the process, M's head somehow was thrown/fell through a glass window at the main office of the hotel.  He was then taken to the hospital by the cops.  Apparently, at the hospital they had him talking to a therapist.  He had shown them his military ID, so they made an assumption that he had PTSD and was suicidal (not the case at all!)  At one point he called himself a cab and attempted to leave the hospital.  He was dragged out the cab and back into the hospital.  At this point he called his wife and my friend to tell them where he was and to come get him.  So my friend, her boyfriend, and M's wife headed to the hospital.  During the car ride, my friend and her boyfriend began to argue again.  The boyfriend ended up opening the door and getting out the car, my friend said to leave him.  So boyfriend is now MIA, my friend and M's wife go to the hospital to get M.  At this point they had not released him andwere still trying to keep him.  At one point the therapist walked away and they made a run for it.  Literally all three of them ran out of the hospital, security guard in tow. 

They made it away, and now were trying to head back to the hotel.  While driving on the highway in M's rental car (he had a rental because they had gotten in a car accident a few days prior), suddenly the front left tire popped and pulled the car into the wall on the highway!!!  So there they were on the highway with two firetrucks, two cop cars, and a civilian while M changed the tire and put the spare on.  Once he finished and set the car back down, the back left tire popped!  At this point the cop said they might as well tow the car.  Rental car gets towed, my friend, M and his wife get a ride back to the hotel in the back of a cop car.  The boyfriend is still MIA at this point, and everyone is now missing their cell phones.  They leave M's wife at hotel to sleep, my friend and M get into my friend's car (they drove there separate) and begin driving around to try and find the boyfriend.  No such luck.  So they return to the hotel (it's around 5:30am now) and go to sleep for a little bit.  My friend wakes up in the morning, still no cell phones, and says "Angela will know what to do.  Lets go to her house!"  This leads us to my 8am surprise visit!

So just like in the movie, they emptied their pockets and the only thing they have is this...

Card to the towing company.  So we look online and it says they are closed on the weekends! Uhmmm BIG problem, but we decide to head over there anyways just in case!  Good thing cause they were open.  So we ask to look in the car for the three missing cell phones.  They take us back to the car and I just had to laugh.  I mean who has such luck that the tire pops and slams drags them along a cement wall while driving on the highway!  You can't really see it well in the photos but the entire side of the car is scraped and the donut is on the front left tire.

Showing off the damage...

And the back tire that popped after being dragged against the wall...

So we searched the car, found M and his wife's cell phones.  We didn't see my friend's.  So she asked me to call her phone to see if we could hear it ring.  As we are standing there hearing nothing, suddenly a man answers!  I'm like "Who is this!?!"  He says "The man with the phone."  Annoyed I reply "No crap!  Who are you and where are you?!"  His response "I'm Jason at the Penthouse."  My thought...ohhh god.  I inform him we will be there to get the phone and hang up.  My friend is just staring at me and asks where her phone is.  after just staring at her for a minute I inform her it somehow ended up at a strip club!  She of course is furious, as I wpould be too. 

So we head back to the hotel to get M's wife, whom they had left there sleeping.  We get there and she is talking to the hotel manager about the damage to the room.  And I got to see it for myself.

Exhibit A, the broken toilet...

Exhibit B, the door...

I literally feel like I am in the middle of the movie right now!  So after checking out and that whole ordeal (which by the way I was laughing at the site of the window the M's head went through boarded up as well, didn't get a photo of that though), we headed to get my friend's phone.  We pull up and are completely grossed out.  I personally have never been to one pof these places, and never thought I would be going to one at 11am to retrieve my friend's cell phone.  Luckily though, since they had just opened we did not have to see "anything" and simply stood at the front counter while they got the phone.  At this point the boyfriend is still MIA (he was ok, and found a way back to the Springs by that afternoon), but at least all phones had been found and we decided a late breakfast/early lunch was much needed.  It definitely made for an interesting Saturday morning, and goes to show that The Hangover can happen in real life.  And luckily I was only apart of the morning after mystery solving, not the actual night lol :)