Well we are officially in the home stretch! It's that point in pregnancy where you are tired of being pregnant, and all the aches and pains that come with it. I wish I had a personal masseuse to rub my back and feet at the end of each day lol. You just want your body back to "normal"...but at the same time you are somewhat terrified of giving birth and having the baby. I more times then not find myself suddenly questioning my ability to be a good mother, and all the small details that come with it. Which I know is silly...though it is different, I have spent the last 5 years of my life taking care of and helping raise other people's children. So why do I feel so inadequate? I am positive that the anticipation is worse then reality. I understand it will be an adjustment and a constant learning curve, but I think....at least hope that once he comes it is less scary then I make it out to be in my head at times.
Recently, I came across a reading where different women gave their perspective and advice on pregnancy to other women and their spouses. I thought, I might as well type out my two cents, because maybe it will help someone, or I can look back on it one day when I am pregnant again and remind myself of some things. It is amazing looking back as to just how fast pregnancy does go by. It is definitely an experience filled with ups and downs, constant changes, and a field of emotions. The one thing I didn't expect to experience is loneliness. I don't know how many experience this, but I have spoken to some friends who could relate. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the impending life change ahead, I have no idea really. But there have been times in the last few months that I have felt lonely. Moments where I cry without knowing fully where it is coming from. I find myself with a million things running through my head at all times, nights where insomnia comes and won't go away, throw in the good ole forgetfulness and it's a recipe for feeling like you are going crazy. Now don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade being pregnant for anything in the world. And it has been such a blessing, for as long as I can remember the one thing I wanted in life was to be a mom. And words can't describe how much I am looking forward to tackling this new chapter in my life. But the roller coaster ride you go through emotionally on your road to motherhood, is interesting and nothing you can ever expect or plan for before it happens. I think one of the hardest aspects is maintaining some sense of yourself, through it all.
The best thing that can happen to you is to have an amazing support system. From girlfriends you can talk to, relate with, exchange stories and experiences with...get advice from those who have children. Surround yourself with positivity. And having a supportive spouse who is excited to go on the wacky journey with you, helps a lot too. My big advice to men is to first and foremost understand, we are in essence a bit loony for these 9 months. Bare with us, lol. As old as it might get, tell her she is beautiful, that she looks gorgeous every day. She needs to hear it and be reminded of it constantly. Dig deep and pull compliments from the heart, she will eat it up, and you will benefit from it. And I think it is equally important for the woman to take care of herself and do things that make her feel good. Whether it's getting your nails done, getting a haircut, or buying a few things that make you feel pretty. I will admit I struggle with this sometimes. When I became pregnant I swear I suddenly became a crazy penny pincher. I began price comparing like a mad woman and second triple guessing almost every purchase I make (do I really need that?) But trust me, you have to treat yourself from time to time. And take the time to get ready. I have seen a lot of places where they say pregnancy is your time to "get away with wearing yoga pants everyday", or things of that sort. While this is true, and comfort is important, I think neglecting to make an effort just because you're pregnant is a mistake. If you never take the time to do your hair, or makeup, or dress cute you are going to start feeling like a bum. I for one didn't want to feel like that...I wanted to be pregnant and feel as glamorous as I could.
Don't ever stop showing affection and intimacy. For a woman struggling with her self confidence during pregnancy, these things will mean so much to her. Hug her, kiss her, touch her and show her you still are attracted to her and adore her. And definitely embrace the belly...it sounds silly but you can't imagine how it touches a woman's heart when you touch or kiss that belly and begin bonding with your child in that way. Some of my favorite moments during my pregnancy were simply when my husband laid with his hand on my belly...it's the first image I have of me and my little family, which a woman will cherish forever. And the biggest advice I have is for both of you to remember that this is only temporary. It will fly by, so cherish every fabulous and not so fabulous moment of it. You will never get this time back, and you don't want to wake up one day and feel like you missed a moment of it. Because I truly believe that one of the most beautiful things in this world is the creation of life!
