Another Week Down

I would say TGIF, but Friday seems no different from Monday around here for us.  The only noticeable difference on the weekends is that less people come in and out of the hospital room, and the hospital DFAC (dining facility) is less crowded.  Beyond that each day is pretty much the same.  Trying to patiently wait for Chris to be released and become an outpatient.  At least then we won't be stuck in the hospital all day, and maybe we can actually lay down together when we watch a movie.  Cause attempting to half lay on the side of a hospital bed is not exactly ideal.  And hopefully the never ending list of drugs he is on will go down, and maybe he won't be so sleepy.  I love him to pieces but man he sleeps a lot right now....totally understandable but it's a bummer watching tv alone in a hospital chair for hours and playing "Angry Birds".
It's Halloween weekend and I gotta admit it is the first Halloween in years I haven't dressed up.  I think maybe one year when I was in high school I didn't but beyond that, I have always had a costume.  Kind of a bummer, but it's ok.  Just means we will have to throw an epic costume party next year :) For everyone who is going out this weekend have fun and be safe! 

Beyond that I want to apologize to my followers because I am sure my blog has become a bit boring and monotonious in the last month.  No more random funny stories to tell from work or updates and the latest and greatest care package decorations I have done.  But hopefully you all still will follow me, I promise I will get more exciting in time :)


♥ We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. ♥

Military Spouses are Heroes

Defense.gov News Article: Military Spouses are Heroes, First Lady Says

It is nice to get a little recognition once in a while. I don't think a lot of civilians understand the sacrfices military families make from day to day. But it's ok, because it's always worth it for me.

A Year Older

So another week has passed.  On Wednesday I had a birthday, I turned 21.  Not the typical 21st birthday by any means.  Spent the day at the hospital with my husband and my mom who came to visit.  Then went to dinner with my mom and a family friend.  Had one glass of wine (and wasn't even IDed at the darn restaurant!)  Then, today the husband sent me to the mall with my mom and told me to treat myself to a little shopping spree since he isn't able to get me anything else given his condition.  I even stayed under "budget" (he gave me a dollar amount to spend).  I spent 20 mintues debating which pair of jeans to buy at The Buckle, so when I told my husband this and he responded "You should have bought both." I was a bit mad at myself.  So I informed him I will return to the mall and get those jeans too!  Anyways I had fun, except my little feetsies were sore by the end of it.
♥ We accumulate our opinions at an age when our understanding is at its weakest. ♥

A Few Tears

So today my husband was still in the ICU hooked up to the ketamine drip.  He again slept most of the day but I stayed by his side.  Then, finally around 8pm I decided I should head back to my hotel room for the night.  I went over to him to let him know I was leaving, so he wouldn't wake up wondering where I went.  He laid there mumbling some complete nonsense.  I know it's the drugs and I understand that, but it is so hard being there with him knowing he isn't really "there".  And then in the midst of all his random ramblings he began to gently caress my face with his hand.  Unsure if he even knew where he was I asked him if he knew what he was doing.  He says "Yes, I am rubbing your face."  I said "Whose face are you rubbing?"  His response was, "My wifes.  Because she is beautiful and likes when I do this."  It just touched my heart and  brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't stop crying as I stood there holding my husband in my arms.  I love him so much and can't wait for all his pain and suffering to be over.

♥ Love's greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred. ♥

Elevator Disaster

So I like to think I have been holding up fairly well over the last few weeks given the unfortunate circumstances.  Now don't get me wrong, I have had my moments of crying and breaking down but rarely does anyone else witness those moments.  I try to keep them to myself, and remain strong on the outside.  I am not exactly sure why I do this, but it is my way of trying to make sense of everything going on in my life and all the crazy emotions that go through me day in and day out.  Any who, let me tell you all about yet another ridiculous thing to happen to me!  I have always joked that I deserve a reality show about my life, and that it would be far more interesting then some of the ones currently on tv.  And today reminded me how right I am about that!

Like I mentioned in my last blog, my husband did a "procedure" to kind of refresh his nerves so he can respond to pain meds better.  This consists of him going to the ICU and being hooked up to a drip of ketamine which pretty much made him sleep and have some hallucinations at times.  It was awful.  at one point he had his eyes wide open and kept saying "Where's my wife?"  The nurses assured him I was standing right there.  he was looking straight at me, but couldn't see me.  The only that settled him was hearing my voice telling him I really was there, and that it's ok.  My poor husband, but hopefully this will help with his pain management starting tomorrow.  But, this meant that he was completely out of all day.  So finally I was convinced to go ahead and leave the hospital and go relax.  So I walked back to my hotel, and was talking on the phone to my mom. I got into the elevator and pushed the button for the 4th floor.  So it starts to go up.  Passes floor 2....passes floor 3....is about to floor 4 then out of no where it like jerks and then just STOPS!  I go "No way..." My mom says "What?"  I say "I'm freaking stuck in the elevator, it just stopped!"  I then start frantically puching buttons, and nothing happend.  I start shaking and digging through my purse trying to find the hotel phone number.  Of course it is nowhere to be found so I hang up my phone, look up the hotel number (thank goodness for internet on my cell!) and call the front desk.  When the girl answered I yelled "Uhm I'm stuck in the freaking elevator!!!"  Then freaking out, I also call one of our liason's down here and inform him I am stuck.  I called back to the front office, eyes full of tears and sat on the phone until the fire fighters arrived.  By the time they got there, I was shaking and just praying the darn door would open.  They were trying and trying to pry it open and of course it would not open!  They then locked the elevator shaft, causing this god awful buzzing sound to go off and at that point I just lost it.  I began bawling my eyes out asking why in the world such things happen to me!  I mean whose husband gets injured in Afghanistan and gets stuck in an elevator in a span of three weeks!?!?  So after many failed attempts at opening the door, a firefighter pulls off a portion of the top of the elevator and pops his head in.  At this point I was squatting on the ground, crying hysterically and I said "I'm just having a horrible day!  My husband got injured, and now I an stuck in a freaking elevator!  This is just too much all at once!"  So they then slid a ladder down through the top of the elevator and had me climb out.  I would also like to add that the fire fighter said, "I am going to come down there, and you will walk up the ladder.  Now if for some reason the elevator begins to move as you're walking up the ladder, I will probably grab you and pull you back down...but that shouldn't happen."  Great words of reassurance...but luckily it didnt happen and after 35 long minutes I was out of that thing.  And I for one, will no longer be using the elevators here!!!

♥You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated♥

Todays Surgery

Surgery days are definitely my least favorite days.  I sit around waiting for Chris to get out of surgery and recovery, which always takes a long time.  Then on top of it, my hotel was evacuated from 9am-3pm for some air conditioning switch out.  I was like "great now what will I do to pass time".  Another couple from our company is down here doing recovery as well.  She saved me from pure boredom today!  She picked me up and took me to Starbucks for the first time since I got down here (and trust me that is all I have been craving for days!), took me to SFAC to finally get the paper work going to receive my per diem pay, and got a few things at the PX.  So thank goodness for that!  My husband was in surgery and recovery from about 7am-3pm.  Today they went in and cut the bone in his left leg about 3-4inches then stretched the muscle and skin around to close it up.  So as you can imagine he was in a lot of pain after surgery today.  I feel so bad seeing him on days like this, because I want to help but there isn't much I can really do, which sucks.  I always try to be super wife and do everything and keep our lives in order and organized, so things like this are frustrating cause I feel useless sometimes.  Luckily, the pain got a little better and he was able to sleep, which I think can be the best remedy sometimes.  Hopefully tomorrow the pain team is going to do some type of "procedure" that will kind of jump start or reset his nerves, so that pain meds have a better effect on pain control.  Since he has been on the same type of meds for a long period of time, his nerve endings are saturated and it requires higher amounts of meds to have any kind of effect.  So this procedure is supposed to fix that problem, and hopefully his body will beable to respond better to medications after that.
One last thing...I have decided I am going to try and end all my postings with a  quote of the day, which will in some way relate to how I am currently feeling. Hope you enjoy them :) Here is todays:

♥ One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. ♥

Here at BAMC

So i got to BAMC two days ago.  When I first got here my husband was just getting out of surgery and going into recovery, sooo I had to wait a bit to see him.  Yay...more waiting!  But after about 2 hours or so he called me and told me to come up to his room and see him.  I cannot begin to explain the flood of emotions that over came me when I walked in and saw him for the first time.  He happened to be in a lot of pain when I got there, which maybe made it harder.  I was happy and sad and excited and wanted to cry all at once.  Even writing this I tear up thinking about that moment.  It is hard to see someone you love with all your being in so much pain, and to see his body different from what I last saw 2 months ago.  He has obviously lost some weight, but he is still just as handsome to me and I was so happy to touch him, and kiss him, and to just look into his eyes again.  So the last 2 days I have just spent by his side, staring at him a lot, and just being so thankful and happy he is home and alive.  Especially since according to the post blast analysis he is very lucky to be alive, and that he isn't a multiple amputie.

Today he was able to get out of bed and into his wheel chair for the very first time.  I was a nervous wreck the entire moving him in and out of the bed process, but he did great.  And he was so happy to get into a different position after all this time and get out of his room for a bit.  We walked around the ward a little, and just sat in the lobby by these great big windows in the sun light.  It was so nice to sit there with my husband in that moment.  Amazing how you find so much comfort in such simple things like that now.  We also got to start with some PT stretches for his legs, to prevent drop foot and keep his body parts moving and such.  I am very glad we got to do all of this today because he said it motivated him a lot, and that was great to hear.  We're taking it all day by day, but we're both doing well.

And here are the Friday Fill-Ins for you guys:

What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?
*From CO to Wisconsin for Christmas last year.  Second longest was CO to Fort Hood when hubby got back from first deployment.

Do you collect anything? Tell us a bit about it.
*Beyond clothes...no :)

What is your favorite part about being an adult?
*NOTHING...bills suck! haha Joking.  Being able to make you're own decisions in general I suppose.

What song brings a tear to your eye?
*My wedding song, but happy tears

Describe your first plane ride (how old you were, where you were heading, etc).
*Not sure really.  I believe I was like 3 years old maybe, going to Iowa from CO

I'm in a Glass Case of Emotions

So I am finally getting to fly out tomorrow to go to my husband's bedside.  It has felt like so much longer than just over a week, and I absolutely can not wait to be with him again.  It was 2 months ago today that I said good-bye to him in that gym.  I am ready to see him, hug him, kiss him and just remind him how much I love him.  And then mixed in with this is my anxiousness about traveling with tons of luggage, all alone.  I do not do well in situations where I am alone.  I do not even like shopping alone for goodness sakes.  So here's to hoping I have smooth sailing in my travels tomorrow.  Then there are the emotions of saying good-bye to my parents and friends.  I have never been more then an hour away from home, for more then 2-3 weeks!  I know, I know.  According to military standards I am extremely lucky, but hey when you are used to it, it's hard to leave home knowing you won't be back for months.  I know these months ahead will be tough, and I know I will get home sick, but I have faith that my love for my husband will be enough to pull me through.  I will try to blog and keep everyone updated as much as possible.  Wish me luck!!!

Friday Fill-In #4 / Update

So with everything going on lately my blogging lacked a bit this week (sorry)...hence why my Friday Fill-In isn't being done until Saturday. It has been a week filled with a range of emotions.  I would go from crying to angry to laughing just to keep myself from crying again.  I even turned into that crazy lady who screamed at a complete stranger out of frustration, shouting that my husband was laid up in a hospital in Germany because he stepped on a landmine and that they weren't helping the situation any.  You get some very interesting looks when you divulge such information around a bunch of strangers who have no idea the burden you are carrying on your shoulders.  I must admit I have been quite cynical this week, and annoyed by the ignorance of people.  I normally get annoyed by this, but even more so then normal.  It is hard seeing people go about their merry little lives, and complaining about petty things, and then knowing all that my husband is going through.  This is why I choose not to leave my house unless it is necessary.  I am not shutting myself out from people, I just choose not to deal with the general public if I don't have to.  I would love for friends to come visit me, and to not be alone.  I understand that most my friends have kids and busy lives so I am ok they can't come keep me company but I am getting lonely.  So this means they need to hurry up and get my husband stateside. He is doing alright.  Given the circumstances, I do not really know how to answer people when they ask how he is.  There is no real good way to answer this.  He is alive, he is in a lot of pain, I try to reassure him everyday.  Beyond that I do not know what to say.  He should be stateside within the next few days, and I hope time goes by fast until I am with him again.  And I must say, looking at this situation, our wedding song truly is the perfect song for us.  It's Never Alone by Lady Antebellum, the music video is below.



Now onto the random questions:

1.What is the silliest get-up you have ever worn outside of a Halloween party?
*Pretty much anything prior to highschool was "silly", and I am sure in another 5 years or so things from high school will seem silly too.
2.What is something that you gave up in order to live the military lifestyle?
*The whole school/career thing has not been a priority in my life.  I postponed school due to my own decision but going back has been postponed more due to the military life.  Having a steady job hasn't been easy either.  I had a job when my hubby was in Iraq.  When he got back, we moved so I quit my job.  Several months later I went back to work.  I then switched jobs (went from one preschool to a new one), and only 2 months into this job I got the news of my husband's injury.  So now I am leaving to go be with him through the duration of recovery.  My first "job" is being an army wife.

3.If money wasn’t a factor and you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? And why?
*First I would want to go to a warm, tropical island.  With super blue/clear waters, and white sandy beaches.  Secondly, would be Europe.  I would love to go to Italy and see the country, eating the foods and drinking the wines!  Also, would love to visit Germany someday, and I think Ireland would be beautiful.

4.If you were going to join the military, what branch would you join? Or which MOS/rating would you choose?
*I would never join the military.  I would however work as an Army Civilian.
5.What is your favorite thing to make for dinner?
*Any type of italian or pasta dish.  It's my husband and I's favorite :)